Bathroom Etiquette
No one really thinks about, when they think about Transgender or Transsexual people, what bathroom they go into when in public places. Unless they are faced with it themselves. But this is a real problem for people who have the genitals of one sex and identify as the other. They are not comfortable with going to the bathroom that fits their genitals, and yet, they may not be able to pass as the gender they identify as and are unable to use the bathroom they desire. And so many, in order to avoid this problem, will not use the restroom all day until they can get home. This is extremely unhealthy, and will result in kidney failure if left unchecked. An excellent resource for learning more about this come from the Sylvia Rivera Law Project. While there, you can download portions, or all, of the “Toilet Training” ebook, designed to educate people on why gender neutral bathrooms are so important today.
So, what do I do? Unfortunately, I do not pass as male yet, so going into a men’s restroom is not really an option for me. The one time I did, looking mostly like a guy, but then not at all, I had very weird looks as I was coming out from the other guys and it scared me. I don’t want to get beat up or something like that…so, I figure it this way–since I look female, I will go to the restroom that says what I look like–for now. That doesn’t mean I like it, but I will not endanger myself just because of comfort. I choose safety and health over comfort…but that is only me. So many people are unable to get to this point, and are forced to choose not going at all.
Let me leave you with this question: How hard would it be to create gender neutral bathrooms?
March 9th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
It might be that you behaved strangely rather than looked female. I would suggest using a stand to pee device, being careful about your body language, and using the men’s room. Pre-t, I got thrown out and called out in women’s rooms about a dozen times, and not even once in the men’s room.
November 10th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
I have to agree with post, As for myself I am female, srs in 2000. yet because of reasons in regard to my faith. I cant appear or carrie myself in a way that would cause some one to stumble or to think badly of myself and those of like affliction. besides the make up is a pain and my wig burnt.
It is hard dealing with nasty male rest rooms, Im really not comfortable useing it, so indeed I embrace the gender nutral rest room. If it comes down to I have no chouice I will use ether, my gosh its only bodly function. get over it…lol
April 29th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Great blog post! I’m gonna send this to my friends to read