So, what do I do? Unfortunately, I do not pass as male yet, so going into a men’s restroom is not really an option for me. The one time I did, looking mostly like a guy, but then not at all, I had very weird looks as I was coming out from the other guys and it scared me. I don’t want to get beat up or something like that…so, I figure it this way–since I look female, I will go to the restroom that says what I look like–for now. That doesn’t mean I like it, but I will not endanger myself just because of comfort. I choose safety and health over comfort…but that is only me. So many people are unable to get to this point, and are forced to choose not going at all.

Let me leave you with this question: How hard would it be to create gender neutral bathrooms?

Here is my question for today–what is the difference between a birth defect and a mis-matching gender identity? Both happen at birth…both have stigma attached to it…and yet, there is a clear difference between how most people view a birth defect as something to deal with and it is understandable, and yet a mis-matching gender identity is not understandable, and it is something that people will judge and discriminate against. Why?

Deafness is something understandable. Gender identity that doesn’t match the body I was born in is not understandable, and therefore, thought of as a “sexual perversion”. This is what kills my spirit–gender identity has NOTHING to do with sex or sexuality! Come on people…this is not any more a sexual perversion as deafness is. So stop treating us as something to be abhored and feared, and start treating us as human beings!!!

That is all I have time for today, but you will be able to expect more on this topic in the coming posts. Thanks for reading my rantings, and I will see you tomorrow morning!

Today is all about Dr. Michael Laurence Dillon, a physician who was born in 1915 as Laura Maud Dillon. He transitioned fully in 1949, three years before the famous case of Christine Jorgenson. Before transitioning, he used a belt to bind his breasts, and wore masculine clothing, and acted as himself–a man. He did everything he wanted to do, which just happened to be masculine in nature/stereotypical. While in college, he began taking testosterone, and then had chest surgery in 1942. In 1944, he officially changed his birth certificate to read male, and changed his name as well. During this year, he also had bottom surgery–a phalloplasty.

While this is all fascinating, I’m sure, there is a point. Someone was doing some snooping into his genealogy, and noticed a discrepancy by who was actually born, and who was listed later in another place. Of course, they couldn’t keep it a secret, and published it in many newspapers. This made him leave the country and go to India, where he became a monk and famous author under his ordained name. Is it any wonder he went to hide? During this time, anything remotely “smelling” like homosexuality was an abomination and could only be made right by violence. Oh–wait–that’s like that now!

We’ve got trans-men and women being brutally beaten, and sometimes killed…we’ve got judgments against us for being who we are…we have discrimination without federal protections…misunderstandings…abandonment…and families disowning their own flesh and blood. Is it any wonder the suicide rate for our Trans community is higher than for any other segment of our community?? This is way too depressing and hard for some people to handle it, and if their “support” network isn’t supportive, it can make people feel alone and rejected.  In the past 50-60 years, have we learned nothing about letting people be who they are called to be, regardless of what that may be?

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: Live and let live. If the way a person is conducting themselves, and they are true to who they are without infringing on other people’s basic human rights to safety and survival, why is it such a big deal? Why do we have to fight for our right to not be discriminated against?

But I digress–I have went off topic, which is talking about historical Transmen. We (in the transmen sense) have always been here and ready to contribute to society, once we have the freedoms and ability to live how we are called to live as. So instead of judging, how about giving us a hand to transform the world?

“Diane Schroer filed the suit in 2005 …the government fought the suit alleging that Title VII, which protects against sex discrimination, does not protect transgender workers.”

“The court did not specifically address the question of whether Title VII’s ban against sex discrimination also bans discrimination based on gender identity. It did, however, reject the government’s contention that laws barring sex discrimination are limited to a person’s chromosomal configuration.”

The courts declared that this is a sex discrimination case, and has nothing to do with gender identity. Sex discrimination does not depend on a person’s chromosomal configuration, but rather on many different factors. And this is encouraging that the courts are beginning to recognize that a person’s sex doesn’t just depend on chromosomes or what’s between their legs. This is an important first step in gaining fair and just treatment in the future.

“Activists insist that ENDA must be passed in order to protect homosexuals. “Qualified, hardworking [gay and lesbian] Americans are denied job opportunities, fired or otherwise discriminated against for reasons that have nothing to do with their performance and abilities,” says the Human Rights Campaign.

“This discrimination effectively denies qualified individuals equality and opportunity in the workplace, HRC explains. Those who experience this form of discrimination have no recourse under current federal law or under the Constitution as it has been interpreted by the courts.

“But just how many homosexuals have experienced “this form of discrimination?” One looks in vain at HRC’s Web site for any concrete numbers. Instead, the lobby group basically contends that because this kind of discrimination could happen, homosexuals must have federal protection.

“Of course, this does not demonstrate that homosexuals are being fired because of their sexual orientation. Technically speaking, HRC’s argument could be made for countless categories of people. For example, there is no law in any state that says a person can’t be fired for having a beard, being a New York Yankees fan, or preferring mint chocolate chip ice cream. But that doesn’t mean they are.”

Now I ask you–what the heck kind of reasoning is that? It’s circular, because they are essentially saying that if a=b, then b=a, so therefore, a=b=a=b. They aren’t making a bit of sense in that they are not seeing the actual issues. Their question, “So perhaps the question before Congress should be: Are homosexuals being discriminated against in sufficient numbers to justify federal intervention?” really doesn’t make sense either. How does being fair and just to your fellow human being, regardless of who they are sexually attracted to, or the gender they identify as, have to be “justified” for federal intervention? And why do we need cases upon cases to prove that we are human beings with the same rights as everyone else?

Here’s another nugget for you: “…concerning a nonexistent problem.” Non-existent?? Obviously, they have closed their eyes to what exactly is happening and why we need protection like everyone else does. Isn’t it bad enough to be beaten and killed by living our lives? Do they not see this? Why should we be excluded from the protections and basic human rights that these same “Christians” get? And yet, these same people get upset if their way of life is threatened. And I know this is true, as I have spent many, many years in a very conservative church that worshiped on Saturday. They were all about saving the world from the “evil” that would threaten their very same freedoms that they want to keep away from our LGBT community.

I have a confession, though. I couldn’t get through the entire article, because I got so tripped up by the crap they were spewing everywhere and I got angry. With all this happening against us, we need to fight even harder to protect ourselves from the crap they are giving us.

Let me leave you with this baloney that the article spewed out, and my conclusions: “Christians should not underestimate the potency of this weapon in the public-policy wars, however. Because our country has, in the past, been guilty of real discrimination against minorities, we as a people tend to react guiltily to anyone’s claim that they, too, have been wronged.”

First of all, what is “real” and”fake” discrimination? Discrimination is discrimination! Period! We are just as much a minority as those who have had “real” discrimination in the past. The only difference is that it is classified as a “sin” to many Christians. Well, once upon a time, it was considered a sin to be a different color–mainly black, as in the slavery days. And, many people used the good ole’ bible to make their claims. Now, I do not agree with that claim, just as I don’t agree that it is a sin to identify differently than how others identify. To take a line from that article, “a person can’t be fired for having a beard, being a New York Yankees fan, or preferring mint chocolate chip ice cream.” Now, I could say, and find support for in the bible, that being a Yankees fan is a sin. (And I am sure there are some that would actually agree with me!) Or, I could say that not having a beard would be a sin according to the bible. But what would be the point?

Next, why are people debating so heavily about federal protections for any particular class of human beings? Didn’t Jesus say to “love your brother (and sister, and whoever else) as yourself”? Well, let’s say that everyone in the LGBT community is a human being. If we are to love each other as ourselves, then why is discrimination even present?? Basic human rights: to be able to make a decent living, free from harassments, and to be safe from attacks based on orientation or gender identity. What is the harm in letting others live as they choose, so long as they are not infringing on another person’s basic rights? In living harmoniously with others, discrimination would not even be an issue. So…why the big deal on their part??

The Transgender Law Center website has an excellent  article about this, including what insurance companies need to do to not discriminate against Transgender people.  Here are some great excerpts about it:

“Many transgender people are denied health insurance coverage altogether solely because they are transgender.  Most transgender people who apply for private health insurance on their own (not through a group plan with their work or school) have been denied coverage if the insurance company is aware of their transgender status. “

“Transgender people who have managed to acquire health insurance cannot get coverage for any services that are related to being transsexual or transgender.  Almost every public and private health insurance program has exclusionary language in their contractual terms such as: All procedures related to being transgender are not covered.”

“The medical system only recognizes the existence of males and females.  This creates problems for many transgender people whose bodies do not fit the standard male/female model. For instance, health insurance companies require that everyone identify themselves as either male or female.”

As you can see, the odds are stacked against us in the health care, and medical insurance arena. We have to fight our way through for every little right we get–as if being human isn’t enough to get the basic rights. Oh wait–it isn’t! The entire world is bent on rights for some, but not all, of humanity. Only the “normal”–rich, white, and straight, plus those whose identity fits their bodies they live–have rights. The rest of us either stand up and protest for every little right gets thrown our way, or sit down, shut up and take it. Is that any way to treat anyone??

Obviously, this is not a new phenomenon, hatched up only in the last 20 years, as so many people would like to think. This has roots back before there were hormones, and  a Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. It apparently has roots way, way back to the time of queen Hapshetsut. (But that is another story…) Perhaps going back further than that. My point is that if this was just a thing of the mind, or a feeling, would it have been so prevalent before there were any media attention about it? Or was the media attention a result of so many people identifying as the opposite gender from what they were born as? One would never know, but can only speculate. It gives cause to think, doesn’t it?

And did I stick up for myself? Would it have helped? Who knows? I have done that before, and they are not willing to listen. I’ve told them over and over that I want them to call me by my preferred name, and to use male pronouns. And yet…nothing. I had a huge conversation with them–in my head. This morning. While still in bed. On my birthday, no less. It went something like this,

“Why can’t you just accept that I am living in the gender I identify as? Why do you have to be stuck in the past? You say that it is hard to accept…that it is a lot to take in. You know what I say about that? That is crap, and you know it! The only thing that is hard is the difference between you wanting to hold on to who I was pretending to be, and who I really am. You’re wanting to have me forget all this and go back to being your little girl. I never WAS your little girl! I never, ever saw myself as a girl! There was just no space to say anything in that neo-nazi Christian environment you forced me to be in! How the hell did you expect me to be happy?

“This is why I attempted suicide so many times! (Even more times than you knew. I tried so many times that didn’t have me end up in the hospital.) I was depressed…I had low self-esteem…I was miserable. And you worried about me then. Now you worry about me because I am being who I am, and you think I am destroying myself. I have never been happier as I am now. The only thing that I get angry at is you two, who won’t accept me for who I am! Why can’t you just let go of the stinking past, and forget about the ideal you are holding on to of me ever, ever going back to those ridiculous girly pretenses, just so you can be happy again? There is no way I would do that! No chance of me ever doing that!

“How hard would it be for you to just let go of that ideal you have of me, and just acknowledge me as your son? It is actually very simple. First, you need to just realize that you are holding on way too tightly, and it is causing all of us a lot of pain and suffering. Realize that you are costing love between us, and that this love lost is sapping the energy and well-being right out of all of our lives. Second, just declare that you are giving up the past, and your ideas of what you think I should be like. And last, declare that I am who I say I am–your son. Would that be so hard if you weren’t being so stubborn?”

What does this have to do with Trans Justice? Trans justice is about fairness and rights. It’s about letting people be who they are, and not who others say they have to be. Trans Justice is about empowering people to live in the gender they identify as–not about feelings…not about wishing–but about who they are deep at the core of their being. If Trans Justice isn’t fostered at home, how can we have Trans Justice in the world?? If Trans Justice is just thought about in passing as a “good idea”, then we will never have justice in the world for our Transgender community! This is not just a “good idea” people. Give others the space they need to be who they are and not what YOU want them to be! This is the beginnings of Trans Justice.

I love my parents. I love being with them when we get along. But it gets really hard when they don’t listen to me, or acknowledge that I ID as a guy. It hurts me deeply, and it feels like I can say nothing about it, for fear of alienating them from me. And if that happens, and one of them should pass on..it makes me sad to think of never having this resolved. And I know–I need to have this conversation with them.  And I will…soon.

Remember: Trans Justice isn’t just a theory or a good idea. It begins with you–stop judging, and start acknowledging others for being who they are!